[The Cock]

So on Friday night, I drive all the way from Savannah Georgia to see one of the most promising and fantastic bands these days, Coheed and Cambria at my favorite venue in the world, the Roxy. Unfortunately for everyone, Coheed and Cambria was not the only preformer on the bill. The headliner The Used and supporting acts S.T.U.N and theSTART were all in attendance but I was still pumped for Coheed. We enter and before we even hit the floor, we see that we were there to witness the cherry popping extravaganza that was every attendee's first show. theSTART opened with a fairly solid showing that i was impressed with. Anyone that closes with a kick ass cover of "Breed" and preamps the preformance with "If you don't like this song, then get the fuck out of here" is totally cool in my book. Then S.T.U.N came on. As the lights dimmed the crowd response was heavy and i became intrested in a band recieving this much attention that i had never even heard of. Then the noise came from the speakers and i immediately felt the need to end my life. With the entire lyrics for the first verse of your song being "Denial", i think its safe to say that these motherfuckers will not have a place in my top 5 openers list. The guitarist had half his head shaved and the other half cropped over the side and dyed black. Nice mod haircut faggot, you're so punk it hurts. And once you thought it was over, they decided to twist the knife deeper and play a cover of Another Brick In The Wall. Wow. I never thought it could get this bad. Ever. STUN is a good name for this group. SHIT would have also fit well. Coheed came on soon after and rocked my world. Claudio Sanchez, lead vocalist and lead guitar, put on an amazing display to the crowd with tons of energy and charisma while giving a flawless technical preformance. I fortunately got right up front and had a killer view, watching him improvise megaphone like vocals through the pick ups in his guitar. Great technique. These guys are going places. Support them all you can, cause one day you'll be buying thier excess pubic hair off ebay with your mom's maxed out credit card just so you feel closer to them once they sweep the grammys and you'll want to tell everyone that you knew about them back when they were supporting inferior bands because the record industry can go eat a dick. Then the used came on and surprisingly put on a good show. We stood back from the inexperianced bastard child crowd that had no idea what they were doing or the distance between their head and their ass and got a good look at all the musicans. All members were tight, concise, and gave a great stage presence. Fully impressed especially with the drummer. We left early and met Claudio out back and got to talk and shake hands, very nice guy and down to earth. Worth every penny of the 17 dollars and I still haven't washed my hands since.
_________________
The new STYX album is comprable to a parking lot full of whale vomit.